Up (2009)
(vía secondhandjoy)
“I have a message for Germany: That you are all going to die”
Shosanna Dreyfus
Natalie Portman en V Magazine
DWIGHT; “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out, that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So, Jim is actually my friend. … But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so, actually, Jim is my enemy. But…”
(The Office S6E07 “Koi Pond”)
Jim: “Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.”
April: I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Ted: What the hell is “the sexless innkeeper”?
Barney: Ted, many a man - nay, many a soul has their own tale of the sexless innkeeper. Why, I had run-in with one just last year. I even composed a poem about it. Would you care to hear it?
Ted: Not really.
Barney: T’was the night before New Year’s,
And the weather grew mean.
It was 3:00 in the morning,
And I was stranded in Queens.
The tavern grew empty,
The gas lights grew dim.
The horse-drawn carriages
were all but snowed in…
Ted: Wait. If this was last year, why are you acting like it was Oliver Twist?
Barney: Ted, it’s a poem.
Last call was approaching,
And my fortunes looked bleak.
Then I turned to my left
And stifled a shriek.
She had a peach fuzz beard
And weighed 16 stone.
She gobbled up hot wings
And swallowed the bones.
I muffled a scream
And threw up in my mouth.
I asked, “where do you live?”
And she said, “one block south.”
I swallowed my pride
And six shots of whiskey
And prayed to the gods
That she wasn’t too frisky.
Back in her cave,
she prepared us a snack.
‘neath her mighty hooves,
the floorboards did crack.
But when she returned,
She found a sound sleeper.
And thus she became
The sexless innkeeper.How I Met Your Mother, 5x04 The Sexless Innkeeper
